Quite a Fishy Day

There was something fishy about Monday. I don’t mean something was suspicious or strange, but something was literally fishy.

8:03 AM: I sit down at my desk and smell fish. Where the heck is that smell coming from? I look around for fish scraps from a previous lunch (though I haven’t brought leftover fish in a month, at least) but find nothing. Maybe it’s my imagination.

9:42 AM: Holy sh*t I still smell it! Is it my feet? I wear the same shoes almost every day (without socks) so it’s quite possible. I slip off my $20 Kohl’s flat teeny-bopper work shoe and take a sniff. It definitely did not smell like roses, but it didn’t really smell like fish either. Still, I deduce this fishy stench must be feet.

12:05 PM: I arrive at Target during lunch and pick up some Odor Eaters foot spray. I felt slightly embarrassed buying this stuff, but the checkout lady was about 90 years old, and that could have been hairspray for all she knew. I could have picked up some condoms, laxatives, super-absorbent tampons, and some Hanes-Her-Way granny panties and it would not have phased her, I’m sure.

12:18 PM: I hop in my Honda Element and start spraying away. This stuff gets everywhere when you spray it, including my eyeballs, but I was OK with that as it would just ensure that the fish smell would be gone.

12:31 PM: I arrive back at work and head to my tiny, dull, office. Mother f***** I still smell fish!!! What kind of sh** is this? What’s wrong with me?? What did I do to deserve this?? I start smelling EVERYTHING. My desk, my drawers, my feet (again), the walls of my office, my clothes… and then it hit me. I’ve been taking fish oil supplements as part of my turbulence training program, and some mornings I stick the caplets in my pocket and swallow them when I get into work. So, what happens when you forget about fish oil caplets in your pocket? Let me tell you what happens: You do your laundry with fish oil in your pants pocket, then your entire load of laundry smells like anchovy city!

I was relieved to finally figure this one out, as I was worried I had some sort of fish stench condition. I dealt with it the rest of the day (as well as my coworkers), and I changed clothes immediately upon returning home.

Tuesday morning I Febreezed the sh*t out of my clothes for the day, and that did help. However, when I changed into my riding gear for the Taco Tuesday ride, I soon recalled that I did not Febreeze my jersey or shorts, so I reeked of fish AGAIN. GREAT. The sad thing is that I hate doing laundry so much that I will most likely deal with fish odors all week rather than do another load of laundry. I pity myself sometimes.